Seeking authentic relationships

In the last post I mentioned seeking authentic relationships, so lets talk about where that comes from...

Learning to be silly and let your guard down is so hard, but liberating when you figure it out

I read this great book, Be the Mom, that tackles the "mom traps" we face and how to break out of the cycle.  At the very end of the book where the author Tracy Lanter Eyster is described, it says "...who seeks authentic relationships-life's to important for fluff!"  I thought, yes! this is what I have been trying to express and find myself! Having a relationship with another mom were you aren't judged but still held accountable for your actions...someone that can say hey wait a minute, what did you mean by that, I don't agree with that and here is why, or that thing you did the other day upset me lets talk, and I still love you.  A kind, compassionate, loving environment where you can share what is going on in the mom world and get support.
But alas this is so hard to find!
At church yesterday we talked about being a friend to yourself, showing compassion and just giving ourselves a break. This is so important when trying to practice mindfulness, being in the moment and truly grateful for what life has to offer you.  As women we get wrapped up in our own heads with shoulda, coulda, woulda and not stopping to enjoy what is right in front of us.

*So I wrote most of the above a year ago, and here I am still not done with this post.  I have two wonderful kids and a home that keeps me busy, this blog is fun but not a priority.  We have had many projects and met new people and I am still seeking that authenticity that so many of you out there desire as well.  I have read many great books lately and found some amazing research that I hope to share with you...but again the little ones come first.  This fall they will both be in school (for the morning at least) and I may get a few post done here and there.*

finding these relationships seem harder than scaling a mountain

So how do we find this authenticness if you will...I am not sure I have that answer, but there are a few things we should all try.
-Don't judge yourself before others judge you- this is such a sad road, it stops you from trying new things and putting yourself out there.  Who cares if the first mom isn't a fan, she wasn't your type anyway ; )
-Practice mindfulness and gratitude daily...more on this later
-Don't judge another mom, take time to talk find out where they are from and thus where they are coming and going from...this really can help in figuring out why others have certain views of the world.
-What is your own world view?  How can you better express that to others so they can better understand you?
-You don't need to tell every mom you meet that you know everything there is to know in the natural mama world and that your way is the best way...calm down and listen you may actually learn something!
By the way, this whole who is crunchier thing is not so becoming and the fact you have to say it makes me question your true crunchiness to begin with...I am doing this natural thing for me and my family, if you have a question great if not don't worry I won't shove it in your face every chance I get is the better response.  
-Stop trying to one up each other!  It causes drama, resentment, judgment and so much more.
-Listen!! It is her story not yours, don't interject every time you can...I have a problem here too cause I get so excited and want to share my experience as well.  Take a breath, and wait, she will appreciate your story more, or even better, maybe wait and tell it another time ; )
-Show compassion for the other moms out there, remember where you were when you first started out.  You can send love to others while still holding their poor behavior accountable, its allowed.
-Accountability! If something doesn't feel/sound right, speak up!  It doesn't matter if it is the crunchy mom or the popular mom talking.  If she has said something offensive or just plain wrong speak up...but do it in a compassionate, I know where you are coming from kinda way.  This way we don't offend and everyone can learn something in the process.
....An the list could go on and on....
I would love to hear from you!
What is something you do to help cultivate authentic relationships and show compassion to others?

That thing that is really bothering you about another person is often a reflection of our true self and what we need to work on as well.  The light of a new day brings us promise, a fresh start, a way to see beyond that reflection and get to the bottom of it all.  I hope that sunrise brings you perspective, love and authentic friendships to your own lives...