Our Children are Our Greatest Teachers

.Our children are our greatest teachers

They choose us, just as we choose them.

I had a wonderful conversation with my 10 year old a few days ago.
And after a lot of thought, journaling and wonder, I wanted to share my thoughts.

She had a disagreement with her younger brother, and I could feel her rage. I asked her to sit with it, explore the feelings she was having and then to tell me why she is lashing out or having to get physical...though she looks so cute, she is around 6 months away from her black belt.

I have made it a point to over communicate emotions with them since they were very young...we believe it is never too young to start the conversation and it is so good for them to learn how to express themselves. She then said something to me that just clicked, and a flood or memories, people, events came flowing back.

She expressed the reason for the behavior was to make her brother feel her anger.

Think about that for a minute. How many times have you heard someone say I want them to feel pain, I want to make them change, I want them to see/understand why.
I suddenly had so much clarity from so many directions.

I wanted to share with you what the universe helped me to relay to her and why it is important for all of us.

-People will never really be able to feel your anger or your pain. The lens they are viewing their journey through is very unique to them, and 10 years from now it will shift focus and the meaning will again change. No one will ever completely understand your anger, pain, frustrations in this human world (her sweet face when she realized this and asked why).

-I gave her the example of forgiveness. It is very similar, since people often treat forgiveness as an emotion and then withhold it. When people treat it this way they expect the other person will then feel all the other emotions they have felt in regards to the event that caused the original need for unforgiveness...So if they felt hurt, unwanted, unheard, disloyal or even betrayed, they want that person to feel what they felt. But what people don't understand is that unforgiveness is "like taking a poison and expecting it to kill someone else" so that withholding forgiveness will never hurt the other person only self...For the grownups reading, this means there is a lot of ego exploring that needs to take place and many questions we should be asking ourselves. I gave her examples of some amazing people she knows, yet they choose this behavior and then the consequences they dealt with...in the end forgiveness is an ask of self care and should be done often, not withheld.  

-We cannot make people feel our pain, change, acknowledge you and your feelings, this is all anyone really wants.

-We are not our emotions. You are not anger, it is good to feel it, but don't become it.

-We can choose the path that our anger flows. 

-We should not suppress our anger so it becomes a part of us, defines us/actions, but we need to see it for what it is and let it go.

-Anger is a powerful energy. It can destroy, but it can also create.

-When we choose to acknowledge our own anger without expecting someone else to, we create an opportunity to change.

-Anger is not bad. Anger can change the world

-But...But, using force behind that anger doesn't make you right, doesn't make people agree with/or feel you. 

It changes that powerful energy into something dark
It causes fear
It suppresses the light
and light in the darkest places of our soul is the only way we will feel heard, loved, accepted, acknowledged etc

-Anger is for us to feel, to see it, acknowledge it, to let go of the tension and/or attachment with it and then to co-create change. We all hold infinite possibility within us.

I learned so much from her...for me, for empathy to others on their journey and how to handle hard conversations with family members.
We are co-creators on this journey. We have to take fear and the need to be right/heard out of the equation and shine a light deep within us.
I want my children to let go of the need to control others, to change them, to make them feel anything they will never truly understand.

I will continue to teach them anger is good, but it is what they do next that can define the event, change the course of action, and create a new direction or way of thinking.

I will continue to show them with my own actions, to express emotions like anger and frustration, by communicating well with others and asking for what we need.

I will continue to show them we do not suppress emotions. Neglecting our emotions and mental health leads to suppression, which then causes imbalance and disease.

I love that my kiddos are learning how important our energetic health is and how we can prevent disease with energy work. A healthy diet can only get you so far if you're not willing to let go of anger, fear and unforgiveness.

What are you doing within your own journey to let go of attachment to emotion?
If you aren't there yet, would you be willing to explore one emotion this week, and acknowledge that feeling, so it will help you explore why you are attached to it?

I encourage everyone to help your kiddos use their words, explore their emotions and instead of preaching it, teach it by showing them...leading them with love in the right direction, then get out of the way and listen. They are our greatest teachers.