Thursday, February 25, 2016

Crossing off the list...

-Teaching them (kiddos) mindfulness and stress management

You may have noticed this one on my 2016 Goals post, you may have thought it was interesting, or why do you need to teach your 4 and 51/2 year old stress management?  Let me explain...


I grew up on country roads, four wheeling, camping, boating, fishing, tubing, small town, cheerleader, happy and lots of good memories.  At the time, and for the most part now, my childhood seemed normal...it is only when I tell someone a story, that I realize how crazy and stressful life was.  From high school and through college (and even now)  my family dynamics changed with a family member suffering from mental illness diagnosis and everything that goes with it.  There was a lot of stress, I remember not wanting to go home in the summer from college two years in a row, but I managed to handle it well.  Then I met my husband, I learned how calm and peaceful life could be, but this brought a down side.





In a great book The Last Best Cure, Donna J. Nakazawa researches the mind body connection and how stress from events long ago can change how our body response to disease and stress later in life.  This connection is something I am well aware of, not only as a midwife, but my own life experience.  I have watched many family members suffer from unknown disease with strange origins, and realized how powerful our minds really are.  Now that I am older, have found peace and find comfort in spiritual growth, I handle stress so differently than I use to.  You would think my hippy zen self could handle it...well this psst year kicked my rump.  So what did I do?  I continued our journey of healthy eating, found new ways to heal through diet, including supporting my adrenals (more on that later), learned to say no and create boundaries ( I am a helper and a fixer, but if people keep taking and I don't fill myself back up there is nothing more I can give, and that helps no one).  I realized that it is like the book talks about, my stress level preset is higher than normal because of life events from earlier years.  Though I handled things well then, anxiety can arise now that triggers a cascade in my body I cannot control.  I know that my genetics say one thing, but I can help control the epigenetics through environment, food and stress management.  Let's leave the genetics for later and get back for my goal for 2016...



So what does this have to do with the kiddos?  I was watching them do yoga one day, while I was in the kitchen cooking and planning out healthy meals for the week.  I have a lot of mindful moments when I am there, it helps me breath, regroup, and see the bigger picture about things.  I heard this voice in my head that said, it is more important to teach them how to be mindful and manage stress than to sweat the small stuff in the kitchen.  It was a big moment for me, it gave me permission to let go of things and to shift my attention to how they are perceiving their environment.  This notion started after my husband and I read a book with a group at church.  The book, How to Raise and Adult, discuses over parenting issues and entitlement in the new generation of young adults and how to break free from it (more on this later).  One of my favorite parts is near the end when the author tells a story about the typical soccer mom doing too much and in the car at practice or a game all the time.  I recommend reading the book, but the moral was, instead of telling our kids what is important why not show them?  If it is exercise then go on a run instead of complaining on the side lines of a soccer game your kid hates to begin with.  No judgment zone here, my oldest loves soccer and one day I am sure we will be there, but right now I play soccer in the yard with her, go on runs, do yoga, dance in the kitchen, show her how to do a cartwheel, laugh a lot, sing loudly, etc.  




They showed me that day, when they asked to do yoga unprompted, that I am doing ok.  I am showing them how to eat well just by doing it not preaching it, I am showing them stress management every time I get on the mat, or take a breath before answering a hard question/conflict, being mindful, trying o so hard to watch what I say and mean it when I do.  I want to teach them stress management and help maintain a low stress point level that will help them later in life.  This won't happen with me telling them what to do, then doing the opposite.  Taking time away from our addiction to busyness, to care for ourselves and see the bigger picture, is a practice we have to grow.  Why not teach them now so they are better equipped to handle life as they grow.

The "balance" so many of use seek is right here, so don't go looking too far...it is in their eyes, actions, our words, gratitude, breath and choices everyday.  Chose to be present even when it sucks, cause the reality is it doesn't.  Out of all the craziness this year our family is closer, stronger and more importantly here.  We are healthy and have each other, growing and learning everyday, I have so much to be thankful for and look forward to.  We are all a work in progress, but once you know better it is time to start doing better.


The Cosmic Kid Yoga Channel  so fun your kids will love it!

Yoga with Adriene  my fav. easy going laid back yogi 



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